Let's Get This Show on the Road!

Today marks the day we are "officially" 38 weeks. This means that:

1. We have been full term for one whole week now.
2. I *could* give birth this week.
3. I have two more weeks until my official due date.
4. This baby could theoretically go until 42 weeks, which means I would be pregnant for another 4 weeks.

At this point, I am so ready to get this show on the road. The nursery is done. I have washed all the linens. The car seat is in the car. The birthing tub is currently sitting in the nursery, waiting to be set up. My lesson plans are written, my envelopes with the bulletin board displays are complete, the new classroom aide has been hired.

Every night now, I have a new routine. First, I do my funny crawl-off-the-couch head-down maneuver to make sure baby is in position (recommended by my midwife). Then I take my vitamins. I jump in a hot shower for 20 minutes and think how ridiculous my cankles look and how terrible the grout is in the shower. Then I crawl into bed and tell the baby how awesome tomorrow would be for a birthday. And then I fantasize about waking up in the middle of the night, not because I am thirsty or have to pee or just have to change position, but because I have gone into labor.

I'm ready.

And if anyone says that the baby will come when she comes or that the baby has her own plan or that God has his own plan or that the baby will be here before we know it or enjoy the sleep and rest we are getting now, I WILL STAB YOU IN THE EYE WITH MY BREAKFAST FORK! Because I know this. It doesn't make the waiting any easier.