Thursday, February 24, 2011

And now we play the waiting game...

Snicker. That line always reminds me of Family Guy. I'm a dork. I know. Moving on...

So, according to my charts--I've decided to combine the phone app with the charting; it's just easier to read the graphs on my charts than on my phone--my temperature spiked on Tuesday and the temps have stayed up (granted, it's now Thursday, so not THAT long). Which means that my most fertile days were the previous 6 days. And we...um...tried to hit the target three times in that time period.

Sorry. I know this is a pregnancy blog and all, so some sex talk should be expected but, you know, my mom is going to be reading this. And my sisters-in-law and my MOTHER-IN-LAW (hi Barbara!). It just makes me a little...squidgy.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. I feel pretty good about this month. I mean, I felt pretty good the last two months as well, but we're far enough away from that first disastrous miscarriage thing that my cycle should be getting back to normal. And now we just wait. According to my previous charts, my luteal phase (Ha! Look at me using technical terms!) should be about 12 days. So 9 days to go before I take the pregnancy test (or for my period to start).

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Is It Me, Or Am I Going Crazy?

I have been on birth control pills since I was 16 years old (have I mentioned this? Probably.) That means, I was on birth control pills for 12 years.

Apparently birth control pills are also behavior modification pills. Because now that I am off of them, I have gone CRAZY!

Now, when I was on birth control pills (or bcp, since writing out birth control pills over and over is making me brain hurt), I would occasionally switch types. When I switched, I could see that I was a bit more hormonal than usual (during the second semester of my freshman year of college, I switched pills and then called my mom crying once a week).

It never really occurred to me what would happen when I went off bcp cold turkey. Crazy is what happened. I say things, or do things, that I would look at later, almost in 3rd person, and think "seriously? why are you doing that?" I randomly get really angry or really upset for reasons that have never particularly bothered me before. And then I take it out on the people who are around me. Unfortunately, that is usually Brian.

I'm trying, really trying, to not let the hormones control me. I used to be a cool, relaxed person. Someone who let things go with the flow. I'm trying to find that person again. I liked her. Other people liked her. If I have done something or said something to you that hurt you or pissed you off or just plain confused you with it's irrationality, I am sorry. It's not me. It's the hormones!